Dear Diary,
You would not believe the crazy things that have just happened! It
has been about a year since I have last written! Can you believe it?
Me neither. I am now 16 years old. Let me tell you everything
that has happened in the past year.
It all started with my 15th Birthday. I was wondering around the castle, just
enjoying the day, when I found a passageway that I had never seen before. I went down the passageway and found a room
that I didn’t recognize. In the middle
of the room was this weird contraption.
I had never seen an object like it before. There was an old woman just sitting there
working with it!
It was such a curious looking object, that I took some steps forward to
take a closer look.
“Why hello there!” I spoke out, curious to know more about the object
she was working with. “What are you
doing there? I have never seen such an
object.”
“Why I am spinning sweetheart! I
am surprised you have never seen one of these before. Every young girl should know how to use a
spinning wheel. Come here, how about I
show you.” She looked up at me, smiled,
and stood up as she offered me her hand.
I took the hand, and sat down, unsure of what I needed to do. “Here dearie, you take the thread, bring it
around and it will be collected over here.”
She took my hands and showed me how to pull the thread around the
contraption and then let me have a turn at using it myself.
I started to feel more confident as I pulled the thread from the wheel
and around the little spinning parts and then to where the thread was brought
together. Then suddenly, I felt a prick
on my finger. Not a sharp pain, but
enough to make me take notice. Suddenly
the world started going dark and I was out.
I had no idea what happened next.
All I knew was that suddenly I opened my eyes and there was this
GORGEOUS man standing next to me, smiling down on me. I looked around me, confused as to what was
going on. I was back in my room and
lying in my bed! I took a closer look at
the man and he was wearing princely attire!
He helped me up out of bed, though it took some effort. He explained that I had been asleep for many
years and he had come to rescue me!
Can you believe it diary? A
prince to rescue little ol’ me? Oh! I almost forgot to tell you one of the most
incredible parts! He also told me that
he fought a dragon to rescue me! I just
simply couldn’t believe it!
That is it dear diary. I mean, I
am glad there isn’t anything else. It
sounds like a story out of a fairy tale!
I am off to go enjoy some fresh air.
Until next time diary,
Briar Rose <3
Author's Note: I chose to write a diary entry from Briar Rose after she learns about everything that has happened. I thought it would be interesting to write a diary entry about what had happened. I also changed the story to make the amount of time she is asleep be only for a year. I also changed the dialogue a little for the sake of the story. The final change I made was that I changed the interaction between Briar Rose and the old woman to provide a little more suspense and to make a better story overall.
I really enjoyed your version of the story. It was very well written and had a nice flow throughout the entire thing. Some stories are very hard to read, but yours was written so well that I actually enjoyed it. I thought the ending of the story was excellent and you did a great job overall.
ReplyDeleteHi Meghan! I really enjoyed getting to read your story. I loved that you chose to write this from a diary perspective. It really helps to give a feel of what the character was thinking at any moment. You did a excellent job of utilizing conversation between the characters to make the story even more engaging. I also thought that you did a great job of adding humor into her diary posts.
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed your story, Meghan! It reads like what I imagine a teenage girl's diary would be like! You did a great job of retelling the story in a personal way, and without drawing it out too much. It flowed well throughout, and I didn't see any grammatical errors. Great work!
ReplyDelete